Its a sad time at work at the moment. We're being abolished, not through inefficiency or inactivity, but rather as the victim of political expedience, briefly, we're part of the previous regime, and therefore must be removed. Whether we will be replaced by something better, more suited to today's environment, I'm not sure. My fear, is the coalition government are similarly uncertain. Nevertheless, there are scores to settle, so out with the old....
As I write, another e-mail arrives inviting me to leaving drinks. At this rate I will be an alcoholic, or destitute. Because I will be here to the end, or very close to it, I've been deemed 'business critical', so have not been deemed surplus to requirements. I'm trying to remain positive in the light of this decision, but as it will become obvious in future posts, I'm a realist, with a healthy dose of cynicism. In short, am I business critical, or just too expensive to get rid of right now?. What I have found is that they don't want me to go right now, but can't provide much for me to do...so I will find something myself. Including blogging, which even now, this my first post, find rather therapeutic. Thank god for spellchecker though eh?
So I receive, emails, of colleagues pretending to be cheerful, articulating how much they are looking forward to the new challenges ahead, while I sit, waiting, for the time I will be told that I am no longer business critical, thanks for your 10 years of loyalty, sweat, and blood, and I can go.
No doubt this will occur son after it is expedient, and a lot cheaper for me to be shown the door.
Do I have regrets?, yes, some, that my loyalty was sometimes misplaced and ill deserved. Do I have fears for the future?, again, some.
Today however, I find myself with a young family, a wife I love more and more each day, and realise, I am no longer alone, on this journey which once I viewed as a reluctant necessity, that for all the strains and stresses I might currently face, my life today is so much richer than 10 years ago.
In this period of uncertainty, I have rediscovered my love of running. I started when I was getting married, as an emotional outlet, stress relief for the doomed groom. Today however, I can't get enough, so that each day is planned around when I can don my trainers, attach my Ipod, and hit the streets.
Its raining outside, the nights are drawing close, the wind is howling, the trees shedding their leaves, but even now, I'm looking at the clock, reaching for my waterproof running jacket, perhaps I have time, just for a quick one.
And things are suddenly not too bad after all.
